The Meaning of Lists

Books and articles which (and authors whom) list the 'best of' or 'greatest' of anything are always going to be accused of exclusion, overinclusion, esotericism, elitism, cultural prejudice/imbalance, etc. British author Garry Mulholland has received a fair share of criticism from music geeks on both sides of the pond for his newest book, Fear of Music: The Greatest 261 Albums Since Punk and Disco. Released in late 2006, Fear is a companion piece to his earlier musicological rank and file book, This Is Uncool: The 500 Greatest Singles Since Punk and Disco.

Despite what one thinks of the genre of music 'list' books, their authors should be commended for their naive bravery and brazen pretentiousness. Because these authors are always going to receive flack no matter how good that list actually is. For instance, if one were to say that the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band is the best album of all time, there will always be numerous detractors ready and waiting to decry that no it isn't (and the author is too mainstream - what about the B-side of Abbey Road or this album by this obscure artist?) Or worst of all, the cognesceti will be quick to state that the choice made is too obvious and/or that the assertion is easy to make because it's the least likely to be refuted.

At a certain point - to effectively complete the task of a best of list - the person making the list has just got to say screw it and run with what they got through the minefield of negative criticism. And for this even the most casual of readers should be grateful. Because the pleasure in perusing these books (and let's face it - most of us won't buy them because they're basically flip throughs at the bookstore and how many coffee table books does one need) is the opportunity we are afforded in this activity to offer up a sanctimonious "oh yeah that would definitely be in my top 10 because it's so blahblahblah" or utter an insulted "what the hell - what about blahblahblah". But better yet, we may be presented with something that makes the list that we've never thought of before or have neglected to pay any critical attention to. And even better still is being able to take that overlooked/neglected item and claim it as your own in your own list - as if it was always a top 10er.

All this being said, I have one thing that I must get off my chest regarding what constitutes an album in Mulholland's Fear (and this is without ever really reading it and of course - y'know - buying it). Mulholland seems to define 'album' broadly; this allows him to list several 'greatest hits' albums of some artists and compilations of various artists to the exclusion of some of those artists' other albums that can rightfully stand on their own (with Madonna's Immaculate Collection being one exception). I disagree with this formulation. Moreover - since it appears that Mulholland defines an album as almost everything under the sun - why does he exclude notable compilations that were released in the periods covered in Fear such as the Nuggets box sets?

Here's my argument for what defines an album's greatness...An album is great if you can listen to every (or nearly every) track on it - in sequence, but jumping around is okay - as it was originally made. It doesn't have to be a concept album - and usually concept albums falter because the onus of keeping a consistent theme throughout appears to be too much for some artists - but it has to be good "as is". It's easy for a frat boy/sorority girl to say that Bob Marley's Legend album is their favorite Marley album: "Like, oh my gawd, every song is soooooo awesome on that album!" And I know why - because it's a greatest hits collection! The compiler knows that So Jah Seh (from Natty Dread) isn't gonna make someone - be it a guy or a girl - take their shirt off at a kegger and hug someone. No. That's gonna require the live version of No Woman, No Cry.

"Emancipate yourself from mental slavery bro."

Here's the list from Mulholland's Fear already. I'm going to try to reserve my criticisms of what's there and what's not there for the years in which I was actually paying attention to music. And I'm not going to sprinkle in any of my own 'esoteric' albums. But I had to interject in some places...

1976
• The Ramones: Ramones
• The Modern Lovers: The Modern Lovers
• Stevie Wonder: Songs In the Key of Life

1977
• The Congos: Heart of the Congos
• David Bowie: Low
• Television: Marquee Moon
• Iggy Pop: The Idiot
• The Ramones: Leave Home
• Kraftwerk: Trans-Europe Express
• The Clash: The Clash
• Ian Dury: New Boots and Panties
• Fela Anikulapo Kuti & the Africa 70: Sorrow Tears and Blood
• Iggy Pop: Lust For Life
• Randy Newman: Little Criminals
• Talking Heads: Talking Heads ‘77
• David Bowie: Heroes
• Roxy Music: Greatest Hits
• Sex Pistols: Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols!
• Suicide: Suicide
• Wire: Pink Flag
• Brian Eno: Before and After Science
• The Ramones: Rocket to Russia

1978
• XTC: White Music
• The Buzzcocks: Another Music In a Different Kitchen
• Elvis Costello: This Year’s Model
• Various Artists: Saturday Night Fever Original Soundtrack
• Pere Ubu: The Modern Dance
• Kraftwerk: The Man Machine
• The Rolling Stones: Some Girls
• The Rezillos: Can’t Stand the Rezillos
• Blondie: Parallel Lines
• Devo: Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!
• Dr. Alimantado: Best Dressed Chicken In Town
• Wire: Chairs Missing
• Can: Cannibalism
• X-Ray Spex: Germfree Adolescents
• Siouxsie & the Banshees: The Scream
• The Jam: All Mod Cons
• Earth, Wind & Fire: The Best of…. Vol. One

1979
• The Fall: Live At the Witch Trials
• Elvis Costello & the Attractions: Armed Forces
• Magazine: Secondhand Daylight
• The Undertones: The Undertones
• Earth, Wind & Fire: I Am
• The B-52s: The B-52s
• XTC: Drums and Wires
• Joy Division: Unknown Pleasures
• Michael Jackson: Off the Wall
• Talking Heads: Fear of Music
• Gang of Four: Entertainment!
• Misty In Roots: Live At the Counter-Eurovision
• The Slits: Cut
• The Police: Regatta De Blanc [The Police suck.]
• The Specials: The Specials
• Chic: Les Plus Grands Succes de Chic - Chic’s Greatest Hits
• Public Image Ltd.: Metal Box/Second Edition
• The Clash: London Calling

[With the exception of one 'album' by Chic, Mulholland almost ignores the disco genre altogether. There were many great disco artists that existed who were overshadowed by campy co-opted groups such as the Village People - artists that made disco suck. Where are the good/real disco artists? This is a shame especially since disco is the genre which gave rise to the dance music that Mulholland appears to like.]

1980
• The Pretenders: The Pretenders [I've said before, and I'll say it again, the Pretenders suck.]
• Young Marble Giants: Colossal Youth [Good choice! No disagreement here...]
• Various Artists (Rough Trade): Wanna Buy a Bridge?
• Magazine: The Correct Use of Soap
• The Beat: I Just Can’t Stop It
• The Human League: Travelogue
• Diana Ross: Diana
• Cristina: Cristina
• Dexys Midnight Runners: Searching For the Young Soul Rebels [I tried to like this one but it didn't really do much for me.]
• Echo & the Bunnymen: Crocodiles
• Joy Division: Closer
• The Associates: The Affectionate Punch
• David Bowie: Scary Monsters
• The Specials: More Specials
• The Teardrop Explodes: Kilimanjaro
• Talking Heads: Remain In Light
• Killing Joke: Killing Joke
• Adam & the Ants: Kings of the Wild Frontier
• The Jam: Sound Affects

1981
• Brian Eno & David Byrne: My Life In the Bush of Ghosts
• Gang of Four: Solid Gold
• Au Pairs: Playing With A Different Sex
• Echo & the Bunnymen: Heaven Up Here
• Grace Jones: Nighclubbing
• Duran Duran: Duran Duran
• Siouxsie & the Banshees: Juju
• Was (Not Was): Was (Not Was)
• Various Artists (ZE Records): Mutant Disco
• Blondie: The Best of Blondie
• BowWowWow: See Jungle! See Jungle! Go Join Your Gang, Yeah. City All Over! Go Ape Crazy
• The Human League: Dare
• The Buzzcocks: Singles Going Steady
• Japan: Tin Drum
• Soft Cell: Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret

1982
• Orange Juice: You Can’t Hide Your Love Forever
• The Wipers: Youth of America
• The Clash: Combat Rock
• Gang of Four: Songs of the Free
• Scritti Politti: Songs to Remember
• The Associates: Sulk
• ABC: The Lexicon of Love
• Elvis Costello & the Attractions: Imperial Bedroom
• Yazoo: Upstairs At Eric’s
• Simple Minds: New Gold Dream
• Kate Bush: The Dreaming
• Bruce Springsteen: Nebraska
• Donald Fagen: The Nightfly
• Marvin Gaye: Midnight Love
• Squeeze: Singles 45’s & Under
• Siouxsie & the Banshees: A Kiss In the Dreamhouse
• Michael Jackson: Thriller

[You see how Mulholland is avoiding Dexys Midnight Runners' Too-Rye-Ay album - the commercial hit but not critical success album? Guess he didn't like this Celtic Soul Brothers incarnation...C'mon Eileen anyone?]

1983
• Tom Waits & Crystal Gale: One From the Heart Original Soundtrack
• The Cramps: Off the Bone
• New Order: Power, Corruption and Lies
• The Cure: Boys Don’t Cry
• Tom Waits: Swordfishtrumbones
• The The: Soul Mining

1984
• The Smiths: The Smiths
• Prefab Sprout: Swoon
• Bruce Springsteen: Born In the U.S.A.
• Run D.M.C.: Run D.M.C.
• Prince & the Revolution: Purple Rain
• Violent Femmes: Hallowed Ground
• Lloyd Cole & the Commotions: Rattlesnakes
• The Smiths: Hatful of Hollow

[This was the momentous year that Bob Marley's 'album' Legend was first released.]

1985
• Prince & the Revolution: Around the World In A Day
• New Order: Low-Life
• Prefab Sprout: Steve McQueen
• The Pogues: Rum Sodomy & the Lash
• Dexys Midnight Runners: Don’t Stand Me Down [Again, I tried to like this one too but it also didn't really do much for me. This is a so-called re-evaluated critic's fave.]
• Kate Bush: Hounds of Love
• Tom Waits: Rain Dogs

1986
• The Cramps: A Date With Elvis
• Hüsker Dü: Candy Apple Grey [Really - this album?]
• Prince & the Revolution: Parade
• The Smiths: The Queen Is Dead
• Beastie Boys: Licensed to Ill
• Mantronix: Music Madness

[Where's Run D.M.C.'s Raising Hell?]

1987
• Bad Brains: I Against I
• Prince: Sign ‘O’ the Times
• Public Enemy: Yo! Bum Rush the Show
• Big Black: Songs About Fucking
• Pet Shop Boys: Actually
• Boogie Down Productions: Criminal Minded
• Eric B. & Rakim: Paid In Full

[I won't hide it or deny it - U2's The Joshua Tree is a great album that should be on here. Yeah, they were the first band I ever saw live in 1988 at the Oakland Coliseum - what of it? And I've seen them 3 more times since...]

1988
• Boogie Down Productions: By All Means Necessary
• Biz Markie: Goin’ Off
• The Pixies: Surfer Rosa
• The Jesus & Mary Chain: Barbed Wire Kisses
• Various Artists: Acid Trax Vol. Two
• Various Artists: House Hallucinates - Pump Up London Vol. One
• The Jungle Brothers: Straight Out the Jungle [There are quite a bit of Native Tongues albums that make Mulholland's list.]
• Public Enemy: It Takes A Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back
• Pet Shop Boys: Introspective
• Eric B. & Rakim: Follow the Leader
• EPMD: Strictly Business
• Happy Mondays: Bummed
• My Bloody Valentine: Isn’t Anything
• Fugazi: Fugazi

1989
• New Order: Technique
• De La Soul: 3 Feet High and Rising
• The Pixies: Doolittle
• N.W.A.: Straight Outta Compton [After selling chocolate candy bars like you wouldn't believe, my 8th grade class raised enough money for a graduation field trip to Manteca Waterslides. Since the teachers were sitting up front, me and this girl that sat on my lap throughout the whole bus trip listened to this tape on a small boombox with the volume on kind of low. Man, I remember her spectacular jheri curl as if it were yesterday. At one point, she asked me if I had a - y'know - marker of arousement. I told her no - and that was the truth - but thanked her for her unintended compliment. Good times.]

1990
• The Fall: Extricate
• The Fall: 458489 A-Sides
• Public Enemy: Fear of a Black Planet
• Sonic Youth: Goo [Mulholland goes for this often criticized 'commercial' album as opposed to taking the easy route and picking 1988's Daydream Nation. Kudos!]
• Pet Shop Boys: Behaviour
• Morrissey: Bona Drag
• The La’s: The La’s
• Happy Mondays: Pills ‘N’ Thrills and Bellyaches
• Madonna: The Immaculate Collection

[No Stone Roses debut but the La’s?]

1991
• Various Artists: Retro Techno/Emotions Electric
• Slint: Spiderland
• R.E.M.: Out of Time
• Massive Attack: Blue Lines
• Son of Bazerk featuring No Self Control the Band: Bazerk Bazerk Bazerk
• A Tribe Called Quest: The Low End Theory

[Thankfully omitted is Nirvana's Nevermind - an album which did NOTHING for me. Curiously missing - especially since Mulholland is a Brit - is My Bloody Valentine's Loveless.]

1992
• Cypress Hill: Cypress Hill
• Madness: Divine Madness
• Body Count: Body Count [Really? This album and band were always more controversy than substance. I even saw them live at One Step Beyond in Santa Clara!]
• Sugar: Copper Blue
• The Jayhawks: Hollywood Town Hall
• R.E.M.: Automatic For the People

[Does anybody else feel that Mulholland is being too generous with R.E.M.? Where's the Pharcyde's Bizarre Ride II the Pharcyde?]

1993
• Dr. Dre: The Chronic
• Blur: Modern Life Is Rubbish
• Björk: Debut
• A Tribe Called Quest: Midnight Marauders

1994
• Blur: Parklife
• Morrissey: Vauxhall & I
• Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds: Let Love In
• Nas: Illmatic
• Prodigy: Music For the Jilted Generation
• Oasis: Definitely Maybe
• Jeff Buckley: Grace
• Portishead: Dummy
• Massive Attack: Protection
• TLC: Crazysexycool

1995
• PJ Harvey: To Bring Me Your Love
• Tricky: Maxinquaye
• Radiohead: The Bends
• 2 Pac: Me Against the World
• Björk: Post
• Black Grape: It’s Great When You’re Straight…Yeah
• Rocket From the Crypt: Scream Dracula, Scream!

1996
• Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds: Murder Ballads
• The Divine Comedy: Casanova
• Beck: Odelay
• Belle and Sebastian: If You’re Feeling Sinister…
• Johnny Cash: Unchained

1997
• Blur: Blur
• Erykah Badu: Baduizm
• Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds: The Boatman’s Call
• Spiritualized: Ladies and Gentleman We Are Floating In Space
• Missy ‘Misdemeanor’ Elliott: Supa Dupa Fly
• Cornershop: When I Was Born For the 7th Time
• Bob Dylan: Time Out of Mind
• Portishead: Portishead

1998
• Air: Moon Safari
• Madonna: Ray of Light
• Massive Attack: Mezzanine
• Tricky: Angels With Dirty Faces
• Depeche Mode: The Singles 81-85 & 86-98
• Lauryn Hill: The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill [I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Lauryn Hill is an idiot.]
• The Afghan Whigs: 1965

1999
• Eminem: The Slim Shady LP
• Basement Jaxx: Remedy
• Gang Starr: Full Clip: A Decade of Gang Starr
• Johnny Dowd: Pictures From Life’s Other Side
• Iggy Pop: Avenue B
• Le Tigre: Le Tigre
• The Make-Up: Save Yourself
• Mos Def: Black On Both Sides
• Q-Tip: Amplified [C'mon - this album sucked!]
• Beastie Boys: The Sounds of Science Box Set

2000
• Kathryn Williams: Little Black Numbers
• Primal Scream: Exterminator
• D’Angelo: Voodoo
• Kelis: Kaleidoscope
• Lambchop: Nixon
• Black Box Recorder: The Facts of Life
• Eminem: The Marshall Mathers LP
• ESG: A South Bronx Story
• PJ Harvey: Stories From the City, Stories From the Sea
• Johnny Cash: American III - Solitary Man
• Outkast: Stankonia
• Wu-Tang Clan: The W [Apparently, WTC's 1993 album Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) doesn't measure up.]

2001
• Stephen Malkmus: Stephen Malkmus
• The Dirtbombs: Ultraglide In Black
• Air: 10,000hz Legend
• Radiohead: Amnesiac
• System of a Down: Toxicity
• The Strokes: Is This It?

2002
• A Certain Ratio: Early
• Lambchop: Is A Woman
• Queens of the Stone Age: Songs For the Deaf
• The Libertines: Up the Bracket
• Pulp: Hits

2003
• The White Stripes: Elephant
• Dizzee Rascal: Boy In Da Corner
• The Fiery Furnaces: Gallowsbird’s Bark
• Outkast: Speakerboxxx/The Love Below

Q: Are we not geeks? A: No! We are douches!